A Vantage Point Amidst Chaos

Photos are taken from the campus of EvergreenHealth in Kirkland, Wash.

The hospital is a vantage point,
A window into human existence,
Where we see proof daily,
That almost everything is temporary.

From the colors of the leaves
to the snow on the ground.
Even what we feel,
Excitement, despair, anger, or fear,
These are all fleeting moments,
amongst a grander scheme.

The foremost example is life itself,
With its inherent fragility.
On one floor alone,
Welcoming all three of my children,
crying and screaming into the world,
Soothing them gently in my arms.

Just down the hall and around the corner,
Navigating critical illness,
Staving off the specter of death,
Or providing comfortable passage,
When someone’s time has come.

Change is the only constant they say,
There is beauty and gratitude to be found in every moment.
But after a decade as a doctor,
And seven as a hospitalist,
I find myself now with gray hairs,
Lamenting and longing,
For a time when there was less chaos,
And the world made more sense.

As we find our way forward,
accepting what has changed,
Valuing what has stayed the same,
brings me comfort and hope.

Just as the sun will rise tomorrow,
And spring will come again,
We remain committed,
to saving and improving lives,
Helping people from all walks of life,
no matter their background,
wealth, or skin color.
Bearing witness and providing healing,
To those forgotten by the rest of society.

Medicine is not what it used to be,
And it never will be.
While boundaries and balance,
Are healthy necessities,
This is more than a job,
A calling, a mission,
Call it what you may.
This fire may at times flicker,
Against strong headwinds,
But it burns bright nonetheless.
I still find profound meaning and a deep sense of purpose in what we do.
I still find joy being a hospitalist,
And I hope you do too.

Dr. Kuo

Dr. James Kuo (@jmkuomd) is a hospitalist at EvergreenHealth in Kirkland, Wash. His writing has appeared in the New York Times Modern Love section but mostly features in endearing notes to his partner and bedtime stories for his three small children.