That is the crux of the problem in working for a boss you don’t agree with—you need to relinquish some control to make the situation work.
“This may be difficult for some people but by giving up a little bit, you’ll get a much more productive relationship,” says Dr. Holman. “It also helps you understand how your daily work fits into the broader organizational vision, and you build political capital. You’ll build trust, respect, and equity. If there’s a project you want to engage in and you want support for it, you can trade on that equity.”
Learn their Style
Even as you’re practicing the art of managing up, you may face barriers in dealing with the boss. Consider whether it is a matter of understanding their personal and professional style.
“Maybe you’re just having trouble connecting,” Dr. Holman suggests. “Learn their style, how they communicate. Invest a little time to get a better understanding of their personality style. One way is to ask about their preferences—do they prefer e-mail, phone, or in-person conversations?—and to observe.”
You may discover that the boss is brusque with everyone, not just you, or that they don’t reply to your e-mails because they never check their in-box. The better you understand them, the less stress you’ll suffer from interactions.
The Last Resort
If you’re not getting along with your boss, or don’t like the answers you’re getting, should you consider going over their head to the next level up?
“The temptation may be to use workarounds or back channels—what I call leapfrogging—until you get the answer you want,” Dr. Holman says. “But there’s a lot of damage you can do in leapfrogging. I typically do not recommend that someone going over or around their supervisor unless the circumstances are egregious.”
Ultimately, if you’re still at odds with your boss and the conflict makes you unhappy with your job, you may need to consider finding a better environment.
“If your superior’s personal priorities are in conflict with yours, you owe it to both the boss and yourself to try to converse and reconcile those priorities,” says Dr. Holman. “You should still use the steps, but you may end up leaving anyway. [Managing up] doesn’t guarantee success, but it stacks the deck in your favor.”
He recalls an example where he was the superior to a dissatisfied hospitalist: “There was a hospitalist working for me who had a priority of working in an environment where he could use subjective judgment to make patient decisions. My priority was to standardize care as much as possible. The individual viewed [guidelines, checklists] as an encroachment on his autonomy. This came down to a very fundamental issue. I knew he’d be unhappy in this environment, and we agreed that he would be better off working for another group.”