Another danger of turkey consumption is its high L-tryptophan concentration. Excessive turkey consumption may lead to significant sleepiness, which when combined with substantial alcohol intake may lead to traffic accidents or, at minimum, falling asleep in front of the television. Of course Thanksgiving is not a healthy day for turkeys.
Perhaps the safest thing about Thanksgiving day is the cranberry sauce. If you can get real sauce and not canned, jellied sugar, you might prevent a urinary tract infection caused by E. coli by inhibiting the bacterial podocytes’ adherence to your bladder wall.
Christmas: Christmas can be a time of great stress, especially for the non-Christian members of our society, who are deluged with holiday images. There is an increased incident of suicide over the peri-Christmas timeframe, perhaps worsened by seasonal affective disorder, though there is no study showing higher suicide rates in this time period in the north.
For some unclear reason there’s a higher rate of deadly train collisions and other disasters over Christmas. The year 1910 was an especially bad year, with eight accidents in the United States, England, and France on Christmas Eve and Day with a total mortality of 56 lives.
As per Thanksgiving, the same dietary risks exist at Christmas, along with the addition of deadly bacterially infested homemade eggnog (best to drink the pasteurized variety). Fruitcake, a mysterious substance not currently listed on the periodic table, is used most frequently as a doorstop. In a limited survey of holiday revelers none of the subjects had actually ever eaten any. In all fairness to fruitcakes, Dec. 27 is National Fruitcake Day.
The most dangerous part of Christmas, besides paper cuts from wrapping presents and frustration from assembling bicycles, is the venerable Christmas tree. A tradition that likely started in 16th century Germany, Christmas trees only became accepted in the United States in the mid-1840s. Trees are a fire hazard and can fall, injuring children. The biggest problem, though, is electrocution from holiday lights placed on the tree and home.
In 1999 the New Zealand Ministry of Consumer Affairs’ Energy Safety Service warned consumers to cease using certain types of lights because of a danger of electrocution. Metal objects—especially tinsel—from a Christmas tree could come in contact with the adapter and act as a conductor. Perhaps Charlie Brown’s tree was best after all.
Both Hanukkah and Kwanzaa have candle-lighting ceremonies—the menorah and kinara, respectively—and carry an increased risk of burns and fires.
New Year’s and Valentine’s: New Year’s Eve (aka amateur night) is a chance for those who never stay up late drinking to do so. Other than vehicular manslaughter, a major risk of this evening is stray gunfire. The Los Angeles Police Department has launched a Citywide Gunfire Reduction Campaign for New Year’s because this has become a time to shoot guns. The best-known treatment for over-libation is the ever-popular menudo (a Mexican soup made with hominy and tripe—not the boy band).
Saint Valentine’s Day is another Hallmark bonanza, as well as an amateur day for lovers. There are many myths involving this saint. One legend contends that Valentine was a priest who served during the third century in Rome. When Emperor Claudius II decided that single men made better soldiers than those with wives and families, he outlawed marriage for young men—his crop of potential soldiers. Valentine, realizing the injustice of the decree, defied Claudius and continued to perform marriages for young lovers in secret. When Valentine’s actions were discovered, Claudius ordered that he be put to death.
A less likely version is that while in prison Valentine fell in love with a young girl—his jailer’s daughter—who visited him during his confinement. Before his death he allegedly wrote her a letter, which he signed “From your Valentine,” an expression still in use today.